My eyes are crossing!

Ah, higher education. Doesn't that just bring a smile to your face and a tear to your eye? Yes, the smile is after you have turned in the assignment you were sweating bullets over and the tear, well, that's from the dry, red, irritated, 'been staring at the computer screen too long', frustrated, infuriated, and all the other 'ated's' you can imagine. As I sat and 'composed' (some times the composition begins with a B and ends with a T-two words: Bovine Excrement-what were YOU thinking?!), the thought occurred to me *best British accent* "I am too old for this!"

Now, in my own defense, I know people older than myself working on degrees. Obviously, they have better medication than do I. That glass of wine only prolongs the torture, but gives somewhat relief, especially in getting started. However, most writings penned while under the influence of the Fruit of the Vine tend to ramble, conflict, and otherwise make no sense. Therefore, I find it better to finish the assignment and THEN drown my troubles....hence the smile.

While on the subject of composition, let me say here that I found out early in this adventure that too much multi-tasking is a very dangerous thing when one is shooting the bull, er, composing. This fact presented itself to me one evening when I had one [bloodshot] eye on the television and the other on the screen. The assignment was to justify something or other, and obviously, my justification must have said something about American Idol or Andy Griffith. I got a C. An average, barely scraping by C! I was livid....after I regained my composure. It was then and there that I decided that my poor old far-sighted eyes must not stray from the work in front of me. Paula, Randy, and Simon will just have to wait for my attention in a pre-recorded fashion, as will Andy and Barney.

I suppose you might surmise from this confession that I might be afflicted with ADD. No, just senility. The funny thing is, I have one set of glasses with which to read. I have another for the computer screen. If I'm reading AND writing, what a mess. Sometimes I'll have to stop and make sure I've got the correct lenses in front of me. Some on my face, some on my head or around my neck. I'm glad nobody's around while I do this.

Come to think of it, wearing the READING glasses while looking at the computer screen is very similar to post-glass of wine. Perhaps I should just put on the reading glasses, look at the screen, and then smile as my eyes cross!