My eyes are crossing!

Ah, higher education. Doesn't that just bring a smile to your face and a tear to your eye? Yes, the smile is after you have turned in the assignment you were sweating bullets over and the tear, well, that's from the dry, red, irritated, 'been staring at the computer screen too long', frustrated, infuriated, and all the other 'ated's' you can imagine. As I sat and 'composed' (some times the composition begins with a B and ends with a T-two words: Bovine Excrement-what were YOU thinking?!), the thought occurred to me *best British accent* "I am too old for this!"

Now, in my own defense, I know people older than myself working on degrees. Obviously, they have better medication than do I. That glass of wine only prolongs the torture, but gives somewhat relief, especially in getting started. However, most writings penned while under the influence of the Fruit of the Vine tend to ramble, conflict, and otherwise make no sense. Therefore, I find it better to finish the assignment and THEN drown my troubles....hence the smile.

While on the subject of composition, let me say here that I found out early in this adventure that too much multi-tasking is a very dangerous thing when one is shooting the bull, er, composing. This fact presented itself to me one evening when I had one [bloodshot] eye on the television and the other on the screen. The assignment was to justify something or other, and obviously, my justification must have said something about American Idol or Andy Griffith. I got a C. An average, barely scraping by C! I was livid....after I regained my composure. It was then and there that I decided that my poor old far-sighted eyes must not stray from the work in front of me. Paula, Randy, and Simon will just have to wait for my attention in a pre-recorded fashion, as will Andy and Barney.

I suppose you might surmise from this confession that I might be afflicted with ADD. No, just senility. The funny thing is, I have one set of glasses with which to read. I have another for the computer screen. If I'm reading AND writing, what a mess. Sometimes I'll have to stop and make sure I've got the correct lenses in front of me. Some on my face, some on my head or around my neck. I'm glad nobody's around while I do this.

Come to think of it, wearing the READING glasses while looking at the computer screen is very similar to post-glass of wine. Perhaps I should just put on the reading glasses, look at the screen, and then smile as my eyes cross!

End of the year festivities...and the Hereafter

I have decided that the 'shutting down' of a classroom and all the 'fun' that goes with it is something that is easier for the 40 and under crowd. Not to say that I don't get it done, it just takes a lot longer and makes me sneeze more than it used to. Guess one could say "I'm too old for this"!

The amount of dust that had settled on parts of shelves, books, and other 'undisturbed' areas during the school year astounded even me. Now, the reason I say I'm astounded is that I am accustomed to living with dust, pet hair, etc. BUT, it was so thick on top of the shelves that the dust bunnies looked like something much more fierce. These were dust donkeys! They were huge! I made the mistake of trying to rearrange some of my, um, decorations on that top shelf and had to retreat from the monsters I found there! Ahhhhchhhoooo! Yes, another allergy attack right there at the end of school.

Seems that everyone may be allergic to dust, but I am severely allergic to it. Yes, I know what you are thinking....I DID have a dust mask in the drawer, but the damage had been done when I climbed up on that chair (which is another thing that I'm too old to do!) and 'disturbed' the nest. It reminded me of that egg chamber in one of the Alien movies....and they were hatching!

So, I decided to quietly and quickly retreat from that field of dust donkeys without so much as a slight breeze, because it all came floating down, down, down to the computers, floor, my hair, my nose. Grosssss! I was brave enough to ask the custodian that 'if they had time' during the summer to at least vacuum up there. Yeah, right. Like I'm high on the priority list. I will be taking my dust buster to school in August and have open hunting season on dust donkeys. I will be wearing a mask, too. I will also be drugged with much Claritin and Sudafed.

The other reason I am too old for this is that I can't remember squat. I had a firewire cord IN MY HAND and the next day, it was GONE! Looked through 2 rooms, all the drawers, closets, and boxes...no cord. I had resigned myself to having to purchase one to accomplish my techhie objectives over the summer, when I started unpacking a box I had brought home when, Voila! There's my firewire. I feel so stupid. I feel so old. I feel so....well I forgot. Proves my point, doesn't it!

Classroom is closed, and I am happily in my summer schedule. I will organize, put away, etc......until I forget what the heck I was supposed to be doing and where the heck the stuff was that I was looking for...! I believe in the hereafter. I go into a room and stop and say, "Now, what am I here after?" Yeah. It'll happen to you, too. Happy summer!